comments 18

Things that thirteen year old boys think thirteen year old girls want to hear

LD#2 came home from Year 8 Camp on Saturday afternoon.

I was nervous that she would arrive home tired, cold, grumpy, wet, perhaps even having fallen out with her friends.  But she skipped off the coach beaming all over her face.  We had a huge hug and even though I’d known she was having an adventure and so hadn’t missed her at all, I felt emotional seeing her again.  I felt proud of her positive attitude and the fact that she had made the most of her adventure away.  All my own memories of school residential trips are of struggling terribly socially. 😦

She had loads of funny stories about the activities, and about the social evenings, and about the leaking tents and just the funny things that teenagers get up to.

Year 8 was a really important year for both my girls.  This was the year during which they gradually stopped with all those frantic wasted hours of going, “I can’t do it!  I can’t, I can’t!  I’m rubbish!” about their homework, instead of actually getting on and doing it.  And me with the frustration: “Just write one sentence!  It doesn’t have to be fantastic!  You just need to write one thing!”

They became organised and independent and realised what it was that they wanted out of life.  They didn’t need me to be there in the same way that they had before.

There are some things they still aren’t ready for in Year 8, though, including some of the things that boys think girls want to hear at that age.

Boy: “I really like the dress you bought at Camp for the disco.  You should wear it again.  Boys would look at you lots.”  (Bearing in mind that this was a fancy dress disco.)

LD: “I don’t think I would like that.”

And one from my friend about her daughter’s text conversation with a boy in her class.

Boy: “I really like you.  Will you go out with me?”

Girl: “All right.”

Boy: “You’re hot!!!”

Girl: “I don’t think I want to go out with you any more!”

People, before you laugh, could this be your son’s teenage self, trying to communicate with what he imagines to be some kind of alien life form…?

Growing up is a funny thing.

I’m still sorting out the partnering up thing and I’m nearly forty…



  1. Ah well our schools were strictly segregated so the idea of telling a girl ‘you’re hot’ was a bit of a stretch. And there were no mobile phones or texting. The wheel had just been invented and my father had installed fire in the cave. At least it feels like that looking back. I’m glad LD#2 had such a good time.

    • Mixed gender schooling is so much better.  I think they eventually see each other as human beings rather than alien ones, despite any early hiccups in crossing the communication divide.


  2. My school was single-sex until we got to the Sixth Form, and that might be partly responsible for my lack of comprehension of girls whilst a callow teenager. Then again, I was continually mystified for years afterwards, so maybe I can’t blame it all on my early education.

  3. Made me laugh!

    I still don’t understand boys, and I’m married to one and have two sons and three brothers. Boys are just strange! 🙂

    • My dad is very quiet so not many outward clues there. I didn’t really get a handle on men until I met my husband.

      I always worried that my girls wouldn’t be able to work boys out, because of having no dad around, but it seems like they are doing OK (with the less inept ones!), which I am astounded by.

  4. I’m so glad she had a lovely time. I was so socially awkward on trips with school so it’s nice to hear of positive experiences!

    • I always used to find the prospect of trips exciting and envisage myself somehow being able to escape my social ineptness to be able to enjoy them… but it always ended up an overwrought disaster.

      It’s really nice when you see your children doing things you couldn’t do… and a relief.

  5. Haha this has brought a large smile to my tired face Denise! So funny, the poor lads are utterly clueless aren’t they. I’m hoping my boy will have a headstart due to the fact that he has two big sisters…wishful thinking perhaps?

    Really pleased LD2 had a fab time. You make an interesting point about year 8 being when it clicks into place. Makes sense I guess as year 7 they’ll still be adjusting to high school. Seems like light years ahead for me, but I know it’s going to happen soooooo quickly!

    • LD#1 has a wonderful boyfriend who thankfully understands what it is to relate to a woman on a level of having a laugh, and being able to talk about things too.  It can be a minefield, though, even for the most sensitive of boys, so having older sisters – and a strong, communicative mum! – is sure to give him a headstart.  


    • Me too… and today the fun continued when she came home with lots of stories about Sports Day.

      She won the 200m race on Sports Day and came close second in the 100m. Now I am not a sprinter at all, but I know someone who is 😉

      • Hmmmm….I wonder, haha 😉
        Congratulations to your daughter, that’s wonderful for her 😀

  6. Oh no, don’t tell me this is only 3 years away (for me)…;-)

    I love that something just clicked for your daughters this year, that they became more confident, more sure of themselves, and more independent. I often wonder about that. Will the day come when I can stop micromanaging or nagging about x, y or z? I have to have faith that people grow and change.

    • At least you are asking yourself those questions. I remember a time when I took micromanaging very seriously… :-0

  7. Things boys assume girls want to hear!! This made me laugh 😀 Growing up is a funny thing, isn’t it. I think I had a “crush” on someone for the first time in Year 8 too. I’m more or less glad I don’t have time for that kind of shenanigans anymore; I’d rather spend my spare time with my close friends and pizza, thank you very much 😛

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